Sometimes I follow up on past skits, sometimes I don't. But this time I did, so if you remember the skit I did a short time back called "I'm just a singer in a rock and roll band", then this is the official follow-up I've meant to finish up for awhile now.
Enjoy!
Robotman: "Okay Lar, since the Chief hasn't been made by Mattel yet, I guess the next best thing to do to cure you of that damn singing, is to call a doctor."
Negative Man: "Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah, some people call me the doctor of love....."
Robotman: "You're really startin' to piss me off with all dat singin'."
Robotman: "Alright, I called in the closest doctor I could find at this time of night. Some weird cat who calls himself Dr.Strange."
Negative Man" Strangelove....strange highs and strange lows. Strangelove, that's how my love goes."
Robotman: "Now don't you start that again!"
Dr.Strange: "Greetings Doom Patrollers, I am the master of the mystic arts, Dr.Strange. I believe you called me about a certain problem you're having?"
Robotman: "Well yeah, but I don't know what the hell magic has to do with this, but if it can fix mummy-puss over there, then let's give it a shot."
Dr.Strange: "Now what seems to be the problem with your friend?"
Robotman: "He wouldn't stop singin', and it's driving me fucking nuts!"
Negative Man: "Baby you can drive my car.....tell you I'm gonna' be a star...."
Robotman: "See what I mean doc? He's been like this for days now I tell ya', days!"
Dr.Strange: "I see. I've seen cases like this before, and it's quite clear to me your friend has Karaoke-itis."
Robotman: "What!?"
Dr.Strange: "It's nothing to worry about I assure you. He'll return to normal after you let it run its course. Should take another 24hrs I believe."
Negative Man: "Oh I need your love babe....eight days a week."
Robotman: "What!? You was supposed to fix him, not encourage him!"
Dr.Strange: "Trust me, Robotman is it? Everything will be fine by tomorrow. I'll have my manservant Wong send you the bill."
Robotman: "Manservant? Wong? What the hell kinda' whacked out gay porno scene you got going on over there?"
Negative Man: "He's the one they call Dr.Feelgood; he's the one that makes it alright."
Robotman: "First thing in the morning, I'm reporting that quack to the better business bureau. Sheesh!"
Got a late start today folks, thanks to the shitty weather. It fucks with my Wi-Fi connection bad, thus adding another reason why I hate summer. I know I have to break down and buy a wireless antenna, but I'm cheap and lazy, and don't feel I need a bunch of equipment just to have fucking internet. Bullshit people, bullshit.
Anyhoo.
Here's a skit I have had in the can for 4 months, but never used it. Maybe you guys will like, maybe not. Picture quality's not the best, but the dialogue, yeah I'm actually proud of that.
So without further ado.......
Nick Fury: "Yahoo! I'm a fucker, I'm a fighter, I'm a wild-bull rider! Yahoo!
Captain America: "Dammit Nick, I told you it's time for your daily meds! Now come back down here mister or there will be some serious consequences."
Nick Fury: "Eat it Rogers, ya' lousy pinko!"
Nick Fury: "I'm coming for you David Hasselhoff! I'm gonna' make your commie ass sorry you and Hydra ever tried to sissify my name with that shitty FOX made for TV movie ya' candy-assed goldbrick!
I'm gonna' make you my bitch just like I did with ol' Adolph."
Captain America: "Sigh. Why me? God why do you hate me so much? Haven't I always done the right thing for America and the whole entire world all my life? I think I deserve better than this."
Nick Fury: "Stop yer' crying ya' pinko goldbrick, 'cause it's time to kill us some Nazis. Yahoo, ya' Nazi-lovin' bastards! Get some, get some!"
Well Fury's got a point there; after all that Nick Fury movie from FOX really was god-awful. I mean the chick playing Madame Hydra, Sandra Hiss was hot as hell, but the whole movie looked low-rent, and it showed. Thus probably why it took a bad-ass like Sam L. Jackson to make Fury cool again....you know, even if this Nick Fury's black. But I digress.
In honor of Fury's.....enthusiasm, here's a track from probably one of his favorite movies, Full Metal Jacket, called "Hello Vietnam."
Well kiddies, this is my 1st post as a 31 year-old, and frankly it feels the same as I did when I was 30. Go figure huh.
So I was visiting family in upstate Greenville, and found time to find a nice comic book store. It was small, but packed to the fucking rafters with toys, and one of the biggest and complete collections of trades I've ever seen! So I couldn't help myself, and bought a really nice one, called Tales of the Multiverse: Batman-Vampire.
Yes, the whole vampire-Batman trilogy by the creative team of Doug Moench and Kelley Jones. And trust me, if you've ever seen Kelley Jones' work, then you know how he was born to draw Batman, especially as a vampire. Trust me he really does, as he's always drawn Batman with long, exaggerated ears, and there on full display in this collection. I highly recommend it, if you happen to run into it. Good, good stuff!
And of course no visit to a comic book store is complete without feeding my addiction for more action figures. And boy did I luck out.
I snatched up the DC Direct Identity Crisis Elongated Man, who has two inter-changeable rubber arms, ala Mr.Fantastic, and a neck that you can pull up a good ways. He's really nice, even if the face doesn't exactly translate as well, based off whoever sculpted him. But he's damn decent, and will hold me over until I ever run into the new DCUC version that's coming out next year via the DCUC Subscription club.
I then snatched up the two head combo of the GLC wave figures Medphyll and Nautkeloi. They are very cool, even though Medphyll's head makes him look like the Guardians gave a power ring to a talking broccoli stalk, and the Nautkeloi head's super loose; as in it doesn't like to stay on. I don't know if that's just the one I got, or if other people have the same problem. Other way, it's a very cool and unique figure.
Finally, besides snatching up the new Green Lantern#11, I also picked up the DCUC version of one of the Metal Men, Mercury. Normally I wouldn't because I'm not that much of a big fan of the figures in general, but he does come with a valuable piece for my C&C Bane figure. So all he's missing is his legs, and then he'll be done. So if anyone's got any spare Bane Legs, throw 'em my way please:) There'll be a future short skit based off him missing his lower half that you guys might enjoy. And yes, all the easy jokes will be included.
I'm really starting to warm up to Mercury though, as he's bad-tempered and extremely sarcastic, so he'll be loads of fun in future skits. Plus that giant scissor-hand's cool as hell too! He looks like he's flipping you bird, but with a big pair of scissors attached. Very nice:)
So all-in-all, I made out pretty damn well. This weekend I go to my home away from home, Heroes and Dragons in Columbia. And oh yes, there will be blood.....nah, but there will be figures! Lots and lots of figures!
And with that, let's go see what's going on in Mr.Morbid's neighborhood shall we?
-Professor Zoom and Johnny Quick argue amongst themselves as to who really is the Flash's fastest and greatest foe.
Prof.Zoom: "I'm the Flash's greatest foe you fool!' Johnny Quick: "No, you hyped-up twinkie with deer antlers, I am!"
Zoom: "Grrrr!"
Quick: "Grrrrr!"
Just then, The Flash arrives!
The Flash: "Hey. hey quiet down you two! Now what seems to be the matter fellas?"
Zoom: "Tell him Flash. Tell Mr. Johnny-not-so-Quick that I'm your greatest nemesis ever!"
Flash" "Well yeah, you do have a point there."
Quick:"No I am! Tell that moron over there, that unlike him, we're actually correctly color-coordinated. That and I'm faster, so that makes me your greatest enemy!"
Flash: "Well, yeah I guess that's a good point as well."
-Both men argue incessantly about who's the Flash's greatest enemy, causing the usually calm and collected Flash to become really annoyed and blow his top.
Flash: "Fellas, fellas! Look, you're both equally evil and useless.
-points to Zoom.
"You, you claim to be a professor, but obviously that wasn't for color theory because all you did was rip-off my costume and reverse the colors. Nothing more, nothing less; thus making you an idiot. An annoying time-traveling idiot, but an idiot nonetheless!"
-points to Johnny Quick.
"And you, what the hell's up with your costume. Yeah, you're color-coordinated alright, but what the hell's up with those antlers you have? It's like Nicola Tesla designed your outfit, but then said fuck it when he got to the ear-pieces. You look ridiculous for God sake's man! And those 'lighting stripes of yours.....God awful. I can't tell if those are lighting bolts, or someone pissed on your chest.
Now both of you scram, before I really get annoyed!"
-Zoom and Quick both look at each other in amazement at what just happened.
Zoom: "What crawled up his ass today?"
Quick: "I don't know. Maybe he's not getting any. That'll do it."
Quick: "Anyways, I still say I'm the Flash's greatest enemy."
Zoom: "No, I am and I can prove it. One word: Flashpoint!"
Quick: "Huh. Yeah you win. I mean, Me and the Syndicate may have done some fucked up shit, but we never tanked an entire universe's continuity that caused an unnecessary reboot and lost countless readers. Yeah you win."
