Showing posts with label Captain Atom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Captain Atom. Show all posts

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Fire Hazard

Just to get you guys in the mood for today's skit, I provided a little soundtrack that'll get you in the right frame of mind, courtesy of the Ohio Players and their hit single "Fire". So sit back and take a listen.

Don't mind me, I'll wait for ya'.


Okay, you ready? Good.

Firestorm: "Uh, should we be you know, standing next to each other? I figured we both might blow up or something if we're standing too close together."

Pyro: "Bugger if I care mate. That's why I'm a super-villain, so's I don't have to follow any bleeding rules or orders as such. Like my dad used to say, No rules, just right!"

Firestorm: "Uh, I think that's the slogan for Outback Stackhouse you're referring to."

Pyro: "You calling me ol' man a Jack of tall tales? That he ain't dinkum? You bloody angora! I outta' burn ya' damn lips off!"

Firestorm: "What the hell are you talking about? And who's a jack a what? And I'm pretty sure I don't have an angora; I have a penis thank you very much. Although now that I think about it, I do have an Aunt Flora... I think. Anyways, learn to speak English man! Maybe that's why you get into so many fights."

Pyro: "Piss off ya' bloody wanker!"

Captain Atom: "Hey guys what's up?"

Firestorm: "Okay, now we should be worried."

Bonus Scene:

Firestorm: "Hey! Those are mine! Give 'em back!"

Captain Atom: "Sorry soldier but I just bought a timeshare for these babies, and I aim to get my money's worth."

Firestorm: "Doh!"

So how'd I do Dan? I think I'm slowly, but surely getting the hang of Australian slang. Of course being able to look this shit up on the internets(yes internets for you Prince fans) makes things super easy for me.

One of the words I just happened to see, is Liquid Laugh. That's Aussie slang for vomiting/puking. I had a good laugh myself off of that one.

Speaking of puking, here's a funny little embrassing personal story of mine:

I was in 4th grade at the time, and me and some classmates were talking about different colored-boobs. Yeah I know, real highbrow stuff for a 10 yr-old. Don't ask me how we got on that topic but we did. So we all start to get really ridiculous by just calling out different colors of boobs, again real highbow stuff here.

So I start laughing, and laughing, all while eating big bites of pizza in-between all this. Well I laugh so hard, I forget to swallow, and I start choking. The really messed up part is, I was laughing and choking at the same time, because for some fucked up reason, I was too damn amused by the image of different-colored breasts, to stop and deal with me choking. So from there I proceeded to puke, and I mean puke hardcore, all the while I'm still laughing my ass off! Everybody at the table scattered like roaches when you turn on the lights, and quickly moved away from the colorful, liquid pyrotechnics shooting out of my mouth. What's funny is they were  both disgusted, yet were laughing at me, and I was laughing at myself and the brightly-colored boobs too!

After that a kind custodian saw what was going on, took me outside, and performed the Heimlich maneuver on me.

I was fine after that, and even got a free 2nd lunch to boot. And you know what? I still laughed even after all that. Yeah, what can I say, I was a silly ,stupid kid back then, except now I'm just a silly, stupid man.

And that was one of many adventures I had while doing the liquid laugh. Literally!

Have a good weekend folks, and please don't laugh and puke at the same time. It's not for everyone!





Tuesday, May 8, 2012

"Animal crackers in my soup...."

Captain Atom: " Well, if it isn't PETA's favorite super-hero, Animal Man!"

Animal Man: (Singing)"Animal crackers in my soup, monkeys and rabbits, loop de loop.

Hey cap. I was just going to the grocery store to pick up some things for the wife and kids. You need anything?"


Captain Atom: "Yeah, how about making it 2004 again, or better yet, 1986 while you're at it. And don't forget the industrial-sized can of whoop-ass for the whole damn DC corporation!"

Animal Man: "Wow, someone's in a bad mood."

Captain Atom: "You can say that again. God I hate this stupid company! Is it too much to ask to not be rebooted every 5 minutes? For the love of God, I'm a slightly altered human being not a laptop!"

Animal Man: "This whole NuDCU thing not working out for you I take it then?"

Captain Atom: "Did ya' gain the attention span abilities of a dolphin? Of course I'm not happy with the NuDCU! They're trying to turn me into Dr.Manhattan from the Watchmen. Do you think I'm happy with being turned into a second-rate, naked copy of myself?"


                                        Animal Man: "I guess not. Well at least my book's doing well. It's a spooky good run by the crafty Jeff Lemire. I haven't been this popular since Morrison was writing about me."

                                      Captain Atom: "I hope I give you cancer just from standing next to me.



-Ben says Animal Man should suffer from an extremely lower sperm count as well. he's right and I should've thought of that. Damn! I'm slippin'.

-Extras:

Animal Man: "Oh wow, I finally made it into one of these skits I'm always hearing about. Cool Beans!"

Captain Atom: "I'm just sure the wife and kids are thrilled for you."

Animal Man: "What was that?"

Captain Atom: "I said I'm thrilled for you. Welcome to the club. Ass-clown."



Wednesday, April 25, 2012

"Hair today, gone tomorrow"

Yeah, I know I technically already posted for today, but what the hell. I've got a backlog of skits finished, so enjoy a bonus post today. And with a fresh new skit too. See people, lots of love here.

Captain Atom: "Nice hair there Farrah Fawcett."

Captain Mar-vel: "Ha, that's rich coming from the man who's a walking, talking Duracel battery."
Captain Atom: "Touche' man, touche'."

                               Captain Atom: "Hey, you probably shouldn't stand so close to me then. What with you being so susceptible to Cancer and all. Don't want to end up like Farrah Fawcett for real right?"

                            Captain Mar-Vel: "OMG man! WWFFD? Not cool man, not cool at all!"

 -Hmm. What would Farrah Say?


Yes, I went there, and she did say that. I'm pretty sure she did.