Run and tweet that!

So I was thinking of a topic to blog about, and then it hit me; talk about Twitter.
Ah yes Twitter. That so-called socially relevant tool that millions of people use everyday to tweet to all their friends and anyone else interested in their boring lives such monumental acts such as what he or she had for breakfast that day, if they took a shit, and how big it was, or whether or not, in a woman's case, if they finally got their period. Trust me folks, when it comes to the most mundane topics you could possibly write about, that's what Twitter's become. Even famous people's tweets about what they do during the day is deemed "news-worthy." God only knows what the hell superheroes and their foes would tweet about!

E-baying used deathrays?  Trading aerial sex positions? Lonely, bored millionaire playboys looking for a companion, ugh I mean 'sidekick'. Whatever.

So here's my stab at Twitter, featuring fellow Teen Titans alumni, Robin and Red Arrow.


Enjoy!

Red Arrow: "Hey Dick, nice Twitter page.......you dick! Ha ha! I mean isn't that what you do anyways? You know since you're a Robin and all?

Robin: "Gee Roy, a bird joke. Never heard that one before. I guess it's a good thing that we're all not exactly like what we named after right?

Red Arrow: "Huh?"

Robin: "Take you for example: Your old name was Speedy. Now if you were to break down why you'd call yourself that, then that would mean you either  a). run really fast, which you don't, except you think you do when you're on drugs. b), You're an unrepentant IV drug user, or c). You prematurely ejaculate. Does any of that sound familiar?"

Red Arrow: "Very funny Dick. But it's like Meatloaf said, "two out of three ain't bad."

I'll tell Layne Staley and Kurt Cobain you said high. Get it? High? Ha ha!"

Robin: "Groins."

Wanna' see the twitter war that started this who thing? I bet you do.

I swear its real!

Finally, here's the inspiration to the title of his post.

Basically, there was video taken of a news crew interviewing one Antoine Dodson. You know, the guy who was auto-tuned to death, and turned an assault into cash flow. Nice.

Give it up for Mr. Antoine Dodson!

See, I told you I loved you!

Flair for the gold

Welcome to the first post of the new month. I promise to put on a hell of a show for you today,
so enjoy

Speaking of fun, you recognize this commercial?

Yeah I know, I know. God bless him though, as he's still going, living like it's 1986 and he's on top of the world. Of course if it really was 1986 again, that still wouldn't be enough time to for him to save up money to pay off  the millions.....and millions, he owes the in back taxes to the IRS. Sad but true.

Anyways, as is the custom here at the House of Fun, I parody the shit out these unintentionally funny commercials as only I can.

I dare you not to laugh.......

Trigon: "Whew! Man, looking for my other arm and leg is really taking a lot out of me. I need to drink some blood quick, or sacrifice some of those delightful crack babies everyone's raving about, because I am tired."

Things look bleak for Trigon until all of a sudden......

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Ric Flair(God): "Woooooo! The souls of those poor little crack babies wouldn't drain themselves. Here, why don't you drink this energy shot and get that blood and demonic energy pumping again. It really puts the wooooooo! in my WOOOOOO!

Don't forget to to spay and neuter your kids! Wooooooo!"

Trigon: "I don't know what the hell that was all about, but now I'll be able to find the rest of me and conquer this pitiful planet and all its dimensions in no time. Thank you Ric Flair. You lovable broke bastard! Wooo indeed ."

Elsewhere we find.......

Iron Man: "Hic', Uh, uh, Harmpfhhfh! Oh, oh God! That was worse than the last one! G**damn Matt Fraction for costing me my hard-fought sobriety and making me a stinking drunk again! I swear, when I find him I'm going to repulsor blast his fucking face right off! Hurmph! 

Oh, uh, I think it just came out of both ends! Rhodey! Rhodey! Come quick and clean me up. I just had an accident in my suit. Oh, god the smell...."

And then all of a sudden.....

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Iron Man: "Oh no!"

Ric Flair: "Wooooo! Hello Tony. Looks like you're in need of a serious pick me up champ."

Iron Man: "Oh Steve Jobs no! Not you again! Last time we partied together, you out drank me and stole all the women."

-It's true kids he did!

Ric Flair: "Here, drink my new and improved energy shot. One drink of my energy shot, and you'll be back to pounding those drinks hard , and pounding the women even harder. Wooooooo!"

Iron Man: "Well, fuck it! It's not like my day can get any worse right? Wait what was that? Reboot in the MU? Bendis leaving the Avengers? Noooooooooo!"

Elsewhere again......

Red Arrow: "Ughh man! I'm so wiped out from that last 48 hour Heroin binge while watching that Young Justice marathon, that I don't have enough energy left in me to shot up my last batch."

Then suddenly......

Wooooooooo!

Red Arrow: "Whaa!?"

Ric Flair: "Wooooo!  What's the matter little Brother, got Iced again? 

Red Arrow: "Uh yeah, you can say that."

Ric Flair: "Well don't worry, because the 16! 16! 16! 16! 16 time World Heavyweight champion of the world has got just the energy shot for you. After drinking a shot of this, you'll be ready to get back on the horse again. Woooooo!

Red Arrow: "Wow Ric Flair, thanks!"

Ric Flair: "That's right. Drink Ric Flair's energy shot. It puts the woooooo! in my Wooooooo!

Did I ever tell you how me and the 4 Horsemen used to party all night and party a little longer? Woooo! It's true brother."

Red Arrow: "Wait, you and 3 other guys used to do Heroine so much you named yourselves after it? Fuckin' Sweeeeet!"

Red Arrow: "Huh, what!? What the hell just happened? Oh man, I think I just hallucinated that Ric Flair was here. That's weird. Oh well, thanks to that little nap, I can get back to doing what I do best: Shooting......Heroin. Ha, you though I was gonna' say arrows huh? Suckers."

The WOOOOOOOOO! End.

"Baby, you're a rich man"

Hey people,
I don't know about you guys, my weekend wasn't bad. I went to the Toys R' Us in the nearby city of Florence and snagged some cool new figures; DCUC's Wave 20 to be exact. There's was tons and tons of figures to choose from that and other toy lines. I even found a Monarch figure from the Venture Bros. cartoon series for only $5.90, but passed on it anyway.

What I did get though was Red Arrow(prepare to bombarded by drug/junkie skits now), Hawk(of Hawk and Dove fame), a personal favorite and must-have, Prof. Zoom, the Reverse-Flash, and last but not least......the Super-Friends edition 2-pack of Hal Jordan/Sinestro on sale for only $20. No bad from being originally $35.

The big thing(ha ha) that was the main selling point for me, was the fact that this Sinestro was in his traditional blue and black costume, that was sculpted in more appropriate scale and body-wise than the other Sinestro figures distributed throughout the line.

Plus the extra glowing energy ring construct weapons were welcome bonuses to the 2-pack. Too bad there aren't that many necessary accessories packaged in with the regular figures, as that's become a growing, but now moot point of contention from fans. Moot now that the wave has ended for now. Damn shame that one is!

Anyways, while I struggled and debated over either getting the 2-pack or 2 more Wave 20 figures such as Dove and the modern Green Arrow, I went with the 2-pack and never looked back.

Now some of you, especially Goo, would ask "How in the hell do you buy Hawk, but not Dove?" Simple. I'm a terrible chauvinist when it comes to figures. I rarely buy female figures unless they either look good enough to get or I need them for their C&C parts. Yep, just using them for their parts. How like a man huh?

As much as I really thought about buying Dove, I just couldn't pass up DC Comics' favorite teen sidekick junkie, so blame Roy, everyone else does.

Alright now on to today's skit, and bear with me folks as it's kinda' long. Not super long, but longer than my usual skits. It features Iron Man and Green Arrow(he broke his cherry guys!), so enjoy.

Green Arrow: "Well, well, well! If it isn't Mr.Moneybags himself,  Tony Stark."

Iron Man: "Hey Ollie. What's the matter with you?"

Green Arrow: "What's the matter with me? I'll tell you what's the matter with me. It's you! You're nothing but a Howard Hughes-wannabe, who happens to also be a typical, lying, opportunistic war-proffiteer who greed knows no bounds. Not to mention an insatiable horn-dog, whose love of women is only matched by his love of booze."

Iron Man: "Really, is that all? I think you forgot to call me a fat cat too."

Green Arrow: "Damn straight you are!"

Iron Man: "Look, I don't know what your problem is Ollie, but it's not with me. And since we're being so honest with each other, I feel turnabout's fair play. I'm not going to stand here and be insulted by a guy who has white-collar guilt."

Green Arrow: "What!? I don't have white-collar guilt."

Iron Man: "Sure you do. You're no better than a typical suburban white kid who thinks he's black just because he listens to Rap and feels he's being held down by "the man." You need to get over yourself because you're nothing more than egotistical loud-mouth, who claims to be disgusted by rich people, yet easily forgets how he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a golden rod up his ass. Not to mention being woefully unable to admit to being a second-rate copycat of Batman, who'd rather play William Tell than be a good enough role-model to keep his kid sidekick off of smack."

Green Arrow: "Yeah, well you're still a man-sized Richie Rich with delusions of grandeur, who uses his money to fill an empty space in his heart instead of what really matters, love. You also had a black manservant, so suck on that Miss Daisy!"

Iron Man: "Manservant!? Rhodey's a good friend who helps me out from time to time, you pathetic Robin Hood wannabe. FYI, Robin Hood was a well-known criminal who regularly looted and robbed from both rich and poor people alike. But for some strange reason he was made out to be a heroic outlaw, and not the common thief with good-to-average archery skills and a better PR rep he really was. And by the way, last I checked this is the 2000's, not the 12-or 1300's that you seem to think it is. Who the hell still uses a bow and arrow to fight crime this day and age, except maybe real-tree, jacket-wearing rednecks with deer stands and bad teeth."

Green Arrow" Yeah, what about Hawkeye, yours and Captain America's favorite ass-slave?"

Iron Man:"What about him? He gets a pass because he's f'n Hawkeye! Plus Clint's a much cooler name than Ollie, and he's in one a major top-selling movie."

Green Arrow: "Damn man, why you gotta' be like that? I'm sorry man, I just have a had a very bad week and all. I guess I didn't really mean all that stuff I said....well most of it anyway."

Iron Man: "It's all right Ollie. We're all entitled to have bad days sometimes. It's the nature of the game of life I guess."

Green Arrow: "Well, let's go find some cold ones and some hot women to make us feel better about 

ourselves. Whatta' say Stark?"

Iron Man: "Well, I guess technically I did give up my sobriety to for help from the gods during that Fear Itself bullshit, so I guess I better do my part to honor my bargain, so what the hell. Let's get stinking, falling-down drunk and tear shit up. We can always blame the property damage on some stupid super-villain that happens to be nearby. After all, it worked for President Bush Jr."

Green Arrow: "Cool. Except I'm all outta' cash right now tin-man. Sorry."

Iron Man: "Somehow that doesn't surprise me. Fuck it I'm rich! The booze and bitches are on me, but you got next time."

Green Arrow: "Fine by me Fat cat."

Both: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"