Suicidal Tendencies

Hey People.

*Yeah this post is a day late, and I totally blame that on my piss-poor Wi-Fi connection and slow uploading of these scans. But I fixed the size of the scans, and bought a router, so......so far, so good.


I figured today would be a very Suicide Squad-themed post today, since I am a big fan of the Ostrander written series, and I haven't done too many SS-flavored skits or anything else SS related as of late.

Now if you go over to Shlomo's SS blog, specifically the comment section, then you'll quickly get a feel for how much of a fan of the SS I am.(and no not the Nazi SS you smartasses:))

Between me, Shlomo, and Omega, the comments section can get veeeeery heated when it comes to the topic of the current Suicide Squad title currently being published by Didio Comics. Trust me when I say that it's a horrible book that would be cancelled tomorrow if and when Harley Quinn ever leaves the title. She's probably the main thing keeping it from the chopping block, because the quality of writing, rebooted cast of characters, and their personalities sure as hell isn't.

But I digress.

This is a happy post, so we're going to keep things that way, as I happily present to you scans I just made today from Wizard#192. Why this particular issue you might ask?

Well, it features a short, but very enjoyable Wizard Retrospective on John Ostrander's entire Suicide Squad run, as well as input and commentary by the other contributing creative members of the SS team.

Not only did I personally enjoy the article, but also learned a lot as far as insight and the kinds of thought processes and brain-storming that went on in putting these issues together. I view it as a behind the scenes look at how Suicide Squad was made. Really good stuff there folks.

So, Shlomo, Omega, ask and you shall receive good buddies. Enjoy!

Nice huh? I told you it was.

And now for some thoughts from some of the crew of Ostrander's SS themselves. Gentlemen?

Captain Boomerang: "Oy, those were the good ol' days, they were. Makes my John Thomas hard just thinking 'bout puttin' one of my boomerangs through some tosser's head, while pissing off the Wall. Ha!"

Deadshot:"......Yeah whatever. I guess sometimes it was alright. Like when I killed that useless windbag Senator Cray. The look on Waller's and Flagg's faces when I put one through his head was priceless. Especially when parts of his brain landed onto the faces of the press."

Bronze Tiger: "You mother-fuckers are crazy, and need some serious fucking help!"

Captain Boomerang: "Oh come of it Tony the bleedin' Tiger; You're just as bad, if not worse than us. You just don't have the balls to admit it."

Deadshot: "Speaking of balls, you must of accidently found yours by daring to show your traitorous face around me again. I didn't forget about the last time you betrayed me, and trust me that was the last time. Since you're reborn, I get the pleasure of shooting off your hands again along with that fucking mouth of yours."

Bronze Tiger: "Tony the Tiger huh? I'll show you a tiger you backwoods hick-ass mother-fucker!"

Captain Boomerang: "Now hold on a bloody second! There's no need to go crazy here. Let's all relax and go out for a piss. My treat."

Deadshot: "You never paid for anything in your whole stinking life! Enough talking, and more shooting!"

Bronze Tiger: "For once I agree with Dirty Harry over there; it's time to fuck up a mick!"

Captain Boomerang: "Have it your way ladies. But don't you go thinkin' ol' Digger's an easy sport. Let's do this then. Me pal Dan's keepin' the car warm, and the Foster's cold, so I'll have to make this quick like."

Deadshot: "The boomerang won't even leave your hand before I paint Turner's face with your blood!"

Bronze Tiger: "Oh fuck that! I'm taking both of you brain-dead freaks out now!"

-They all fight. Again. 

I guess somethings never change do they folks?

And finally to take us out, here's the punk band with the very same name as this post, Suicidal Tendencies, and their hit song "War inside my head!"

Very appropriate for what just happened I think.

Peace and chicken grease my Nizzels!

Short-Shots 2:Attack of the Son of Short-Shot....

Hey People,
having a bitch of a time with my internet, so excuse the delays.

I've had a hell of a weekend, and not the good kind of hell either! I won't bore you guys with the details, because if you wanted to hear/read someone moping about how unfair life is, you'd simply listen to an emo music channel or something. Suffice to say, life isn't and leave it at that.

Someone said "Life is a shit sandwich sometimes, and we all have to take a big bite and swallow." Truer words have never been spoken.

But enough with all that, you came here for the funny(I hope), so let's get to it.

The 1st short skit features the two Batmen I have, the Detective version, and the GA version. I've been wanting to do this particular skit for awhile, but just now got off my lazy ass to make it. Enjoy.

Batman: "Time for bed young man. You have to hit the books hard in the morning, plus your early morning workout."

Robin: "Awwww, but Bruuuce. I don't want to go to bed early. I think I'm old enough to stay up to 10:00pm now, don't you think?"

Batman: "You heard me Dick. Time for bed."

Robin: "Gosh darnnit! Green Arrow lets Roy stay up late."

Batman: "And that's why Roy's doing so well now as a drooling, drugged-up idiot."

Robin: "You're a drooling idiot!"

Batman: "What was that?"

Robin: "Nothing"

GA Batman: "Bruce, it's way past your bedtime young man. "

Batman: "Awwww, but daaaaaad. You said I could stay up late tonight!"

GA Batman: "No buts young man, or else I'll spank yours. Off to bed with you now."

Robin: "Ha ha. You have to go to bed early too."

Batman: "Shut it Dick!"

And finally, here's a skit Dan can get behind, mostly because it's filled with his two favorite fellow Aussies:

Captain Boomerang: "Oi ya' wallaby-lovin', fire-startin' Billy. How the hell are ya'?"

Pyro: "Well if it isn't my favorite bludgerin' bluey? How are ya' ya' damn bogan you? Going to chuck a sickie are ya?"

-Now Imagine furbies, but speaking Austrailan. Yes, it's still gibberish you can't understand. But it's worse. It's with an accent. That's these two.

Cap'n Boomerang: "Come on ya' cockie, let's go out for a coldie."

Pyro: "Can we go to the nearby Outback Steakhouse you reckon?"

Cap'n Boomerang: "Now why would wanna' go to that piss-poor place you silly dag you? They ain't even a proper dinkin Australian restaurant."

Pyro: "I know. That's why I want to go there and burn the whole place to the ground, right along with all those stupid bloody gits! I'll cock a fat watching those bloody yanks burn to death. Well that and the bloomin onion. Amazing appetizer it is."

Cap'n Boomerang: "That's what I like about you Pyro ya' crazy dunny rat. You're always good for a laugh. But now that you mention it, a bloomin' onion and a right mug of Fosters' is right what the doctor ordered."

Both men singing at the same time:

"We come from the land down under. Where women glow and men plunder? 

Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? 
You better run, you better take cover." 

And no, I didn't cock a fat when I thought of you Dan. Damn you Aussies have some weird fucking slang! I swear man......

"The Five Of Us Are Dying" Part 1

Okay folks,
I've been talking to the other guys like Goo, Dan, Ben, and Omega how I was going to make a skit based on the five of us. You can thank/blame Ben, as I believe he was the impetuous(oh big word) of this idea. He suggested how cool it'd be if there were action figures of us all, and I got to thinking, yeah that would be cool, but there isn't. So here's the next best thing; using the figures I have available, I use 5 to represent each one of us. Oh boy this is gonna' be fun!
So sit back and enjoy, "The Five of us are dying" Part 1. And yes there are 2 parts, so don't complain.

Act 1: Much a-Goo about nothing

-Awaking in a strange and unfamiliar place, Googum quickly finds out he's not in Seattle, Washington anymore......

Googum: "Wha-!? Where am I? And why do I have the sudden urge for communion waffers?"

-Looking down, Goo realizes......

"Uhh Frik! Well this can't be good. I guess I'm Nightcrawler now. Nice. This must be karma for all the crap I put him through over the years on my blog."

"I just hope I'm not made to do anything I'll be too ashamed to let my kids read. Although this a Mr.Morbid skit, soooooo."

-Suddenly a lone wolf walks by......

"Oh come on! A small plastic toy wolf? Wow, the production value of this skit is real low.

Wait a minute! That wolf looks oddly familiar. Sam? Sam is that you?"

Sam: "Woof woof!"

"Great, now he drags my own dog into this skit? Alright, alright, think Goo, think. There's always a way out of these things, I just have to find it. Okay boy, let's find our way home."

Sam: "Woof! Woof, woof!"

-End of Act 1.

Act 2: Mozel Tov Magneto!

-Ben Hungstien(giggle) also awakens to find.......

Ben: "Huh what!?  Where the hell am I? Last thing I remember was secretly sending death threats to Adam Glass and having a werid, quasi-sexual talk with Omega. He, Hey I'm Magneto! Gee such original thinking there Mr. Morbid.

"Hmm, I wonder if I have magnetic counting abilities like the real Magneto does?

-(Yes it's true. Check out A vs. X#2 true believers!)

"But what the hell, I'm Magneto! Look out world, because I'm one Jew you don't want to mess with!"

"You there. Yes you! Go out and tell all the world that our people shall suffer no more! From this day forward, I, Magneto, shall lead our people back to the promised land!"

Random guy: "Sure, whatever you say mister. Just as long we make it back in time for my wife's Knaidlach(Matzo Ball soup)."

Random Guy's Wife: "Yeah Mister Magneto, we need to be home in time for suppah. Oy what a shame to be missing suppah!"

Ben: "What? You're missing the point here. I'm telling you that I'm going to deliver our people from oppression and all you're worried about is missing dinner? Fools! Magneto cares not for soup!"

Random family: "Arghhh! Run Mr. Mensch is going all Meshuggina!"

Ben: "Now what a minute! I didn't say run. Stop!"

Random Nazi: "Seig Heil!"

Ben: "What the fuck did you just say!?"

Random guy's wife: "Ooh Mr. Jew Hater, you shouldn't have said that! Now we'll never make it to temple on time!"

-End of Act 2.

Act 3: Rumble in the jungle.

-Omega himself awakens to the sudden realization that things are not what they appeared moments eariler....

Omega: "Huh? Hey where am I? I was just going to sleep thinking about that weird, semi-sexual talk I had with Ben, but I all of a sudden I'm waking up here, wherever here is."

-Omega looks down and realizes he's not what he's supposed to look like.....

"Wha? Alright!!!! I'm a kung-fu badass baby! I'm Bronze Tiger! Hell yeah! It looks like this 'tiger's gonna' be baggin' some serious sooki tonight! Arrrrooooo!"

"But first, I need to stretch out. I can't have a sex-sprain while tworkin' that tail. Ughh yeah, I'm gonna' hit it and quit it like Bruce Lee. Howahhhhh!"

"What? There's no shame in stretching and working up for the big game. Not all of us want to end up like David Carradine you know. Damn shame 'bout that dude though. Brotha' just couldn't handle that Thai ass I guess. Not me though. I'm gonna' all tiger-style on her ass, while she snatches the p-nis out of my hand. Ya heard?"

-End of Act 3.

To be continued.

Well, that's just the first part folks. As you can see, I've been using free, photoshop-like programs like Paint.net and Gimp to mess around with. Hopefully that and my adequate computer skills will start to make these skits seem a little more better.

Part 2's on it's way soon.......