the moment you've all been waiting for(or not), it is now time for the other shoe to drop......
-Previously, Five strangers were randomly chosen by an unknown entity and transported to various locations foreign to the person involved. Not only did they find themselves in different locations from the ones they began their days in, but they were also surprised and astonished to find they were each in different bodies as well. Who could possibly have the power to alter such lives? Why? And what could possibly be next for our heroic five?
-The scene is set, and you awaken to realize you're not where you think you were, nor do you look like who you think you are. You're Dan, and you're day has just gotten very weird indeed......
Act Four: Dingo ate my boomerang!
Dan: (looks at himself)"Oy! What's this? Where am I? Oy! Come on. Seriously mate? Just 'cause I'm an Aussie doesn't mean I have to be bleedin' Cap'n Boomerang! Bloody racist! Just for this, I'm sending an army of angry kiwis after you ya' bloody arvo!"
-Yes Dan, I know Arvo means eveing. I just like the way it sounds. Sue me.
"Well, no sense in taking a lie down when I can go for a walkabout. Damn this bush is rough! reminds me of an old girlfriend of mine. And her mum. Ugh! Lucky for me, or whoever dropped me off here, I have a razor-boomerang on me. Christ! This is harder to get through than reading a skit by Mr. Morbid."
"Hold on, what's this? Who the bloody hell are you?"
Random Native: "Oy! I'm the person who bloody lives here. Who in the piss are you, you bloody bludger? Can't a girl use her dunny in privacy?"
Dan: "I don't care what you do you cow, I just want to know how I got here, wherever here is."
"As for who I am, I'm Cap-Dan, and I'm the one with this giant machete, which I somehow mysteriously have on me all of a sudden. Christ mate, it's called natural story progression. Look into it sometime eh?
Random Native: "You better rack off before I hurt you with my knife!"
Dan: "That's not a knife you silly galah, this is a knife! Now bugger off before I show you how bloody sharp this is, and then you'll be....you know, bloody."
Random Native: "Arhhhhhhh!"
Dan: "That oughta' do her straight. Good 'onya ya' moo cow! Now to find my bloody way out of this bloody mess, and find the bloke responsible for this balls-up affair. Damn! Never a Ute or a Tinnie when you need one. I suppose I could chuck a leftie round that hill there."
End of Act Four.
And elsewhere, in another part of the world we find the fifth stranger, Mr.Morbid.....
Act Five: I'm going through changes
Mr. Morbid: "Ughhh my aching head! I knew I shouldn't have had that last shot of Crown. Fuck me running!"
"Wait a minute, what the hell? Is that hair? That can't be I'm bald!(thanks evil genetics!)
Wait, this isn't my body! And why am I wearing short shorts? I'm not Daisy Duke. This is Mr. Morbid's House of Fun, not the Dukes of Hazzard! Oh shit, something's really wrong here."
"What the fuck man!? I know I wanted my hair back, but not like this! Not as Kamandi! C'mon, change me back into something else. Something cooler, like maybe a Green Lantern or something.
-A mysterious voice suddenly says "okay!"
POOF!
"Well, did it work? What am I now?"
"Alright! I'm a GL. Hell Yeah! Wait, wait a minute. Is that my head? Oh shit! I'm Maash! Fuck!"
"Not cool man, not cool! I have a giant turd for a head! There can be only one person or thing(for the sake of this story) responsible for this.....Bat-Mite! Damn you!!!!!!"
-Elsewhere we find......
Bat-Mite: "What, you were expecting maybe Bugs Bunny or Elmer Fudd? Nope just your friendly neighborhood elf from the 5th Dimension. Ain't I just a stinka!? HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
End of Act Five.
-Epilogue.....Deus Ex Machina
Zatanna: "Omega, good I've found you! There's no time to explain, but I got to free you and the others!"
Omega: "Hey pretty lady! You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"
Zatanna: "I don't have time for this. We have to leave now!"
Omega: "We can catch up with those losers later, but for now how about you rest for awhile. I got the duct tape and bottled water."
Zatanna: "But Bat-Mite..."
Omega: "Can wait sweet cheeks. This tiger's been caged up too long and wants to freak. ya' dig? Arroooooooo!"
Zatanna: "Sometimes I really hate my job!"
To be concluded.....
And that's that. Yes I will finish up the story later, but for now I think I'll just bask in the glow of my achievement.
Hey Dan, the researching Australian slang part was easy, but damn you guys talk funny! Ute? Tinnie? You cats are crazy! Love ya', mean it.
Finally, if you didn't already know, I'm a huge music fan, especially classic rock. Call me lazy, but I really love using titles of rock/music songs as titles for my skits, you know, in case you haven't already figured that out. So what song am I referencing here? NIN/Nine Inch Nails's "The four of us are dying." It's a really good instrumental track, that oddly enough could unofficially or officially be the the theme song to this story. Do yourself a favor and check it out here:
Have a good weekend guys, and hoped you enjoyed this humble little distraction I call a skit.
I enjoyed creating this thing almost as much as you guys probably had fun clicking off it. Ha!
