"Desperate, but not serious"

If the title of today's post sounds even vaguely familiar, it's because you are or were, a fan of Adam Ant in the 80's.

I discovered this lost/forgotten little gem of a song last week while watching the VH1 Classic channel. I never heard the song or saw the video before, but I got to admit it's pretty damn catchy. So yeah I like the song, and the snazzy riff, but the main thing I like about the song is the title itself. "Desperate, but not serious." Yeah, that pretty much sounds like my current love life, or rather the lack thereof. I've been currently trying out the whole internet dating thing, but let's just say it's not working out too well, and leave it at that. Definitely not a route you'd wanna' go, but are kinda' forced to if you find your city's current crop of potential girlfriends leaves much to be desired. Ah yes, the thrill of the chase eh?

Here's the video:

Gotta' love the 80's huh? And now that I think about it, it kind of fits the old reports that Adam Ant was a raving, paranoid lunatic, who was convinced that someone was going to kill him. Was he perhaps listening to too much Rockwell at the time? Add to that the "reports" that he was hooked on drugs, and yeah I guess I'd be paranoid to if I was up to my eyeballs in shit that made me see stuff that wasn't there; you know the wonderful drugs like Meth, LSD, Crack, Bath Salts, and Synthetic Marijuana. Oh and there's also Goo's favorite, Windex. Don't believe me? Go ask him. Hi Goo!

Alright, on to the funny, and today's skit that involves that wascally wabbit himself, Bat-Mite! Oh yeah, and the the Dynamic Duo are there too.

Bat-Mite: "Greetings Dynamic Duo. It is I, Bat-Mite, and I'm bored. And you know what that means...."

Robin: "Holy gosh and gee wilikers Batman! How are we going get rid of Bat-Mite this time?"

Batman: "Easy chum, easy. Bat-Mite's a harmless little elf, so there's no need to worry about him. We'll just trick him into leaving like we always do."

Robin: "I don't know Batman, Bat-Mite seems harmless, but he is just like that Mr. Mxyplytz guy that Superman fights all the time. Maybe we shouldn't take him so lightly."

Batman: "Nonsense Robin. We'll just ignore him like we usually do and he'll go back to wherever he comes from. Besides, I have to take a big Bat-Dump, so I'll let you handle this one by yourself."

Robin: (Sarcastically)"Gee, thanks Batman."

Bat-Mite: "Hey! I heard that! Why are you two fags talking like I'm not even here?"

Bat-Mite: "So I'm harmless eh? I'll show you who's harmless!"

Batman: "What the hell!? I feel so strange."

Robin: "Oh fuck! This isn't going to end well"

Bat-Mite: "Ta-daaa! How you like me know Batman?"

Robin: "Holy shit! Bat-Mite just turned Batman into a shot-glass!"

Bat-Mite: "So I did junior, whatta' gonna' do about it? Cry?"

Robin: "Well gosh, could you at least fill it up? I think Batman would want it that way."

Bat-Mite: "Hahahhahahaha! Ain't I a stinka?"

Yes folks, that is an honest to god Batman shot glass. I got that at Spenser's last month(Thanks Starrypluto!)
There was a Superman one too, and some others, but I forget who they were. I just wanted the Batman one 'cause he's one of my favorite DC superheroes. And yes, it's as awesome as it looks, especially when you're drinking a shot of Crown from a Bat-Shot-glass. Fucking A! and that's why I love America.

Have a good weekend people.

"The Five Of Us Are Dying" Part 2

Here it is folks,
the moment you've all been waiting for(or not), it is now time for the other shoe to drop......

-Previously, Five strangers were randomly chosen by an unknown entity and transported to various locations foreign to the person involved. Not only did they find themselves in different locations from the ones they began their days in, but they were also surprised and astonished to find they were each in different bodies as well.  Who could possibly have the power to alter such lives? Why? And what could possibly be next for our heroic five? 

-The scene is set, and you awaken to realize you're not where you think you were, nor do you look like who you think you are. You're Dan, and you're day has just gotten very weird indeed......

Act Four: Dingo ate my boomerang!

Dan: (looks at himself)"Oy! What's this? Where am I? Oy! Come on. Seriously mate? Just 'cause I'm an Aussie doesn't mean I have to be bleedin' Cap'n Boomerang! Bloody racist! Just for this, I'm sending an army of angry kiwis after you ya' bloody arvo!"

-Yes Dan, I know Arvo means eveing. I just like the way it sounds. Sue me.

"Well, no sense in taking a lie down when I can go for a walkabout. Damn this bush is rough! reminds me of an old girlfriend of mine. And her mum. Ugh! Lucky for me, or whoever dropped me off here, I have a razor-boomerang on me. Christ! This is harder to get through than reading a skit by Mr. Morbid."

"Hold on, what's this? Who the bloody hell are you?"

Random Native: "Oy! I'm the person who bloody lives here. Who in the piss are you, you bloody bludger? Can't a girl use her dunny in privacy?"

Dan: "I don't care what you do you cow, I just want to know how I got here, wherever here is."

"As for who I am, I'm Cap-Dan, and I'm the one with this giant machete, which I somehow mysteriously have on me all of a sudden. Christ mate, it's called natural story progression. Look into it sometime eh?

Random Native: "You better rack off before I hurt you with my knife!"

Dan: "That's not a knife you silly galah, this is a knife! Now bugger off before I show you how bloody sharp this is, and then you'll be....you know, bloody."

Random Native: "Arhhhhhhh!"

Dan: "That oughta' do her straight.  Good 'onya ya' moo cow! Now to find my bloody way out of this bloody mess, and find the bloke responsible for this balls-up affair. Damn! Never a Ute or a Tinnie when you need one. I suppose I could chuck a leftie round that hill there."

End of Act Four.

And elsewhere, in another part of the world we find the fifth stranger, Mr.Morbid.....

Act Five: I'm going through changes

Mr. Morbid: "Ughhh my aching head! I knew I shouldn't have had that last shot of Crown. Fuck me running!"

"Wait a minute, what the hell? Is that hair? That can't be I'm bald!(thanks evil genetics!)

Wait, this isn't my body! And why am I wearing short shorts? I'm not Daisy Duke. This is Mr. Morbid's House of Fun, not the Dukes of Hazzard! Oh shit, something's really wrong here."

"What the fuck man!? I know I wanted my hair back, but not like this!  Not as Kamandi! C'mon, change me back into something else. Something cooler, like maybe a Green Lantern or something.

-A mysterious voice suddenly says "okay!"

POOF!

"Well, did it work? What am I now?"

"Alright! I'm a GL. Hell Yeah! Wait, wait a minute. Is that my head? Oh shit! I'm Maash! Fuck!"

"Not cool man, not cool! I have a giant turd for a head! There can be only one person or thing(for the sake of this story) responsible for this.....Bat-Mite! Damn you!!!!!!"

-Elsewhere we find......

Bat-Mite: "What, you were expecting maybe Bugs Bunny or Elmer Fudd? Nope just your friendly neighborhood elf from the 5th Dimension. Ain't I just a stinka!? HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

End of Act Five.

-Epilogue.....Deus Ex Machina

Zatanna: "Omega, good I've found you! There's no time to explain, but I got to free you and the others!"

Omega: "Hey pretty lady! You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"

Zatanna: "I don't have time for this. We have to leave now!"

Omega: "We can catch up with those losers later, but for now how about you rest for awhile. I got the duct tape and bottled water."

Zatanna: "But Bat-Mite..."

Omega: "Can wait sweet cheeks. This tiger's been caged up too long and wants to freak. ya' dig? Arroooooooo!"

Zatanna: "Sometimes I really hate my job!"

To be concluded.....

And that's that. Yes I will finish up the story later, but for now I think I'll just bask in the glow of my achievement. 

Hey Dan, the researching Australian slang part was easy, but damn you guys talk funny! Ute? Tinnie? You cats are crazy! Love ya', mean it.

Finally, if you didn't already know, I'm a huge music fan, especially classic rock. Call me lazy, but I really love using titles of rock/music songs as titles for my skits, you know, in case you haven't already figured that out. So what song am I referencing here? NIN/Nine Inch Nails's "The four of us are dying." It's a really good instrumental track, that oddly enough could unofficially or officially be the the theme song to this story. Do yourself a favor and check it out here:

Have a good weekend guys, and hoped you enjoyed this humble little distraction I call a skit.

I enjoyed creating this thing almost as much as you guys probably had fun clicking off it. Ha! 

"Someone's knocking at the door, someone's ringing the bell..."

Hey people.
Yes I know it's been awhile, so sue me. No wait, don't because I don't have any money.
Anyways, I figured I'd post a new piece because I have truly missed you all and really missed doing this; as reading my buddy Googum's skits having been making things harder and harder on me as well.

So what's new?
Well I've successfully bought and completed the whole entire Apache Chief/Super-Friends wave of figures. Yes, I'm now the proud owner of my 1st ever completed C&C figure!

credit: to thefwoosh.com

He looks awesome, even though he looks more like a native-American chippendale or Geronimo on steriods depending on how you look at him.

The bad news is that I had to buy El Dorado, or El Chico as I like to call him as well. Yeah he sucks, but at least now I have a super-powered Mexican Mesero(that's waiter in Spanish) to serve chips and salsa to the rest of his Super-Friends.

Alright, here's a new skit of mine. The pics are actually a few months old, but I never posted them, so they're new to you.

This is called "Mite I be of of some assistance?" enjoy.

Bat-Mite: Greetings fellas, my name is Bat-Mite and I just happened to hear you guys were looking for a new 3rd member for your little team, and I had nothing else to do, so I said "what the hell" so here I am.

Robotman: Uhh, wait a minute. Aren't some sort of genie or magical whatzidozit that causes trouble and random mischief?

Negative Man: He's an imp Cliff, just like Mr. Mxypltz, or something like that.

Robotman: Yeah, just whut I thought; trouble we don't need. Sorry lil' guy you gotta' go. We don't need more trouble aroubd here. if we did, we'd already sign up that kook Mr. Nobody or that weirdo Ambush Bug.
Bat-Mite: But, but.....
Negative Man: Now let's not be too hasty there Cliff! He does have magical powers after all, and when was the last time we had someone on the team with that particular skill set? Besides, he's harmless, aren't you little fella?
Bat-Mite: Yes, yes I am! But oh so very helpful!

Bat-Mite: I also know who batman is. Wanna' know?
Robotman: Who doesn't know who that guy is by now? Ya' got anything else to offer us?
Bat-Mite: I can show what Wonder Woman looks like naked.
Negative Man: Sold! You're in!
Robotman: Welcome to the team lil' buddy, hope you survive the experience.